“Who is the client?” is a complicated question with school referrals because multiple people are involved. Students are the ultimate clients and beneficiaries of intervention services. However, most referrals come from parents or teachers who often view things differently than the student. What do you do when the teacher wants to change the student’s classroom behavior while the student would rather work on making friends? Or when the parent views a problem as urgent and the student does not?

There is nothing more futile than trying to convince students that they have a problem when they don’t think they do, or that they should work toward a goal that is unimportant to them. Instead of trying to talk students into other people’s goals, I ask students what they want to work on and start from there. After all, you can’t rearrange the furniture until you’re invited into the house. Sometimes it is possible to negotiate different goals with students, parents, and teachers in ways that respect each person’s position while working toward similar outcomes. For example, if the teacher or parent wants the student to take school more seriously, but the student does not buy into that goal, we might ask the student if she is interested in getting her teachers or parents off her case about school. Though worded differently, both goals are aimed toward similar outcomes—turning in more homework, arriving to school on time, behaving better in class, and so forth. Accepting each person’s perspective, and negotiating goals accordingly, enables practitioners to maintain alliances with all involved clients while encouraging them to work toward compatible outcomes.